A Midsummer Night's Hell
by Firefrost
Summary: CHAPTER 6 UP! Yugioh characters playing Shakespearian roles! This CAN'T be good! And since Marik and Anzu are playing lovers, how will Yami, Malik and Bakura react? YMxA, MxA, BxA, YYxA and more! R&R please!
1. To Wed & Not To Wed

A Midsummer Night's Hell  
  
By Firefrost  
  
(Based on Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream)  
  
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CAST:  
  
Japanese Name (English Dub Name) - Character In Play  
  
Anzu Mazaki (Tea Gardner) - Hermia  
  
Marik Ishtar (Yami Marik) - Lysander (Hermia's lover)  
  
Shizuka Katsuya (Serenity Wheeler) - Helena (Hermia's best friend)  
  
Yami (Yami Yugi) - Demetrius (Hermia's suitor, Helena's secret love)  
  
Jounouchi Katsuya (Joey Wheeler) - Oberon (King of Fairies)  
  
Mai - Titania (Queen of Fairies)  
  
Yugi - Puck (mischievous fairy, Oberon's servant)  
  
Isis Ishtar (Ishizu) - Hippolyta (Duchess-to-be of Athens)  
  
Malik Ishtar (Marik) - Egeus (Hermia's father)  
  
Seto (Kaiba) - Theseus (Duke of Athens)  
  
Bakura Ryou (Yami Bakura) - Nick Bottom (weaver)  
  
Ryou Bakura (Bakura) - Cobweb (Titania's lady-in-waiting)  
  
NOTE: 'dfdfdf' = thoughts  
  
When referring to who's speaking, I have used M, M, B, Y in different mixtures and arrangements. These stand for Marik, Malik, Bakura, and Yami (they will never be used to stand for any of the others).  
  
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Firefrost: O' joy, o' rapture! Steady mine throbbing heart, and partake of such a humourous offering as this which hath been laid before thee! (Translation: Be happy, my heart! Enjoy this humourous story!)  
  
Anzu: O_o Did she get into the sugar again?  
  
Malik: (Points to Yami) The Pharaoh did it!  
  
Yami: _ (Shakes fists in the air) I did NOT! You were the one who dared her to—!  
  
Bakura: (Raises eyebrow and smirks at Malik) To drink all that Pepsi before bed.  
  
Marik: Stupid authoress.  
  
Firefrost: I heard that!  
  
Marik: So?  
  
Firefrost: So, if you WANT to be paired with Anzu, be NICE! Or I'll put her with Bakura, or Yami or Malik! (Red with fury)  
  
Marik: (Approaches Anzu and wraps his arms around her) Very well. I shall, as long as Anzu is mine!  
  
Anzu: O.O (Blushes)  
  
M, B, Y: (Glare daggers at Marik before leaping forward and pulling him away from her) ANZU'S MY WOMAN!!  
  
A cloud of dust appears as a brawl breaks out between the four.  
  
Anzu: O_o  
  
Firefrost: (Wobbling from sugar high) While Anzu and I peel the men apart, Shizuka, will you do the honours?  
  
Shizuka: Sure! (Flashes a sweet smile) Firefrost owns neither Yu-gi-oh nor Midsummer Night's Dream. If she did, she'd be in the hospital for bragging to her peers too much, so she says!  
  
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Chapter 1: To Wed & Not To Wed!  
  
The city of Athens was lit with joy as its noble Duke Seto hosted a great party celebrating his nearly-come wedding days (four days from then). Many of the great nobles had gathered.   
  
Malik: (Walks on stage to the Duke and his bride-to-be, Isis, cursing Bakura for trying to trip him backstage) Ra-damned F***ing Tomb Robber! (Realizes he's on, and looks at couple) Worthy Duke, I send you my fondest congratulations for your to-be matrimony... (Smirks at Isis, who blushes) As well as your to-be nuptials.   
  
(A/N: Nuptials are reference to *ahem* the wedding night ritual of you-know-what.)  
  
Isis: That wasn't in the script, Malik!   
  
Malik: What?! Everyone knows you like him!  
  
Isis: O_O  
  
Seto: O.o; Ummmm... right. (Struggles to remember his line) Thank you kindly, Lord Malik! But, let me not be selfish in my rejoicement. How be your lovely daughter and her betrothed? Has there been a setting of the date?  
  
Malik: (Shakes his head) I fear not. My Anzu has chastised many a time my choice. A year it has been, and still she loathes Lord Yami. Yet reserved is she to marry that reckless and wild Marik! (Pouts at mention of Marik) I do not understand! If she persists more, (touches his platinum hair) I fear my hair shall be all but white!  
  
Seto: Fear not, my kinsman. Where be the lovely Anzu at this hour? I bid her come and we shall solve this discourse.  
  
Anzu: (Enters, on cue) I pray you, did you call, my lord?  
  
Seto: Aye, dear maiden.   
  
Isis: Ooh! Anzu, are YOU in for it!  
  
Anzu: (Glares)  
  
Seto: Your father tells that you defile his honourable match. Why do you so detest Lord Yami? He be the son of a nobleman, and well trained in the art of courting fair ladies such as yourself. Will you not even consider him?  
  
Anzu: I will not. Indeed, he knows the way to court and woo a woman. Just last morrow, he courted through night the body of my companion, Shizuka! Is that not a sin in the eyes of the noble?! And even more a sin to destroy true love? My dear Marik—!  
  
Malik: (Snorts)  
  
Anzu: —and I are destined! Would you defy Aphrodite's great plan?  
  
(A/N: Aphrodite = Greek Goddess of Love)  
  
Seto: I will bear the curse of Love's wrath for the sake of your loving father's honour. (Turns to Isis) Begone, dearest. Leave your ears clean of this business's conclusion, or it may well damage your delicate nature.  
  
Isis: Aye, my beloved. (She leaves)  
  
Seto: As Duke on high, I set before you, Anzu, a choice of three. May the Gods guide your choice wisely. One, to wed your father's chosen suitor, Yami. Two, to confirm as a nun, and be a sister of the faith. Or three, be put to death at the axeman's swing.  
  
Anzu: (Gasps) My lord, there is no choice in this! (Tears well in her pretty blue eyes)  
  
Malik: (Wraps his arms around her) Awww...! Don't cry, Anzu!  
  
Anzu: O.o (Whispers to Malik) It's for the scene, Malik!   
  
M, B, Y (backstage): Grrr!!! Get your FILTHY hands off 'er, Malik!!   
  
Seto: (Pulls Malik and Anzu apart to avoid catastrophe) A choice it is. And it be the only one you shall have. Be swift now, before I lose my patience!  
  
Anzu: (Her tears fall) I BEG you, Lord, give me time!! My heart is pierced with a thousand razored swords, and the wounds MUST heal! Let my shock fade, and I shall answer when I may!  
  
Seto: Agreed. You shall come to me in the morn. No sooner, and no later! You must answer then. (Waves his hand absently) Off and away, to puzzle your dilemma and coax your delusional brain into logic!  
  
Anzu retreats to her guest chamber in the Duke's home, and there is kept company by the withering night.  
  
Anzu: O' night deadly! O' night wicked! What cruel joke do you play on me?! This night me heard my Duke say I must choose — but choose I CANNOT! To be a woman of faith is too lonesome! To be wed to my betrothed is appalling! But to die is UNBEARABLE! To leave my Marik behind, in pain, and know that I have wronged he whom I love as the breath I do intake?! Injustice! Injustice I would do to him! Never!  
  
M, M, Y, & B (backstage): O_O 'She's good!'  
  
Marik: (Enters at Anzu's window) Dearest angel of my heart? 'Tis I, your Marik! Be not shy, and come with me to revel in the moonlight's pale embrace! From beneath dark trees that may hide us we shall entreat each other!  
  
Anzu: (Runs and embraces Marik's neck, making Malik, Bakura, and Yami extremely jealous) My love! I am in no fit to entreat this night! Forgive me, but my heart is troubled with choice.  
  
Marik: (Kisses her forehead and looks in her eyes) What choice, my fair lady?  
  
Anzu: The Duke bid me wed Yami, be a nun, or to suffer the stroke of the axeman! But, NEVER to live and love you!  
  
Marik: (Ponders) I see... Behold, a thought! Fair Anzu, meet me in one hour at the brink of the forest, ere we will travel and elope, only to marry elsewhere where the Duke has no power!  
  
Anzu: (Smiles brightly) O', beloved! Brilliant! I will come! But, first, I must warn Shizuka. In my stead, she may be Yami's wife, as she so deeply desires. I cannot leave my childhood friend without this hopeful knowledge!  
  
Marik: (Outside window) As you wish. I shall wait for you at the brink as planned. Be not late!  
  
It took only a short while for Anzu to find her sweet friend, Shizuka, who was in the garden.  
  
Shizuka: (Stands from a flower grove) Anzu, what is it? Never before have you looked so bright and so jubilant! Pray I ask your source of ecstacy?  
  
Anzu: My dearest of dear friends, rejoice with me! My love has come to me this night! He bid me join him ere an hour at the brink! From there, we shall disappear from the shunning eyes of Athens! Away and away forever, to a place we can wed!  
  
Shizuka: _ Oh, I wish I could elope!! Jounouchi won't let me go with Seto!!  
  
Anzu: O____O;; Shizuka, you lines?!  
  
Shizuka: O_______O OH! Oh, right!! Um — Then I bid you farewell and happiness, my playmate!  
  
Anzu: As I wish you! For once I and mine are vanished, Yami will beget you the title of his wife! What I hath lost, you hath won! Despite, I do not mind losing it!  
  
Shizuka: (Shaking her head) But Yami loves you, Anzu. He sees me not anymore...  
  
Anzu: Not so! I feel he will pursue Marik and I, and YOU must be there to distract him. Time alone with you may change his feelings beyond that of the immediate physical pleasure he hath used you for! Go with him when he follow me. Take his heart's eye from me, and steal his soul with your womanly beauty!  
  
Shizuka: (In a dreamy state) I shall...  
  
Anzu: Good fortune! I go now, Shizuka. Fare you well and may luck shine upon you as the sun in your auburn hair!  
  
Anzu disappears from the garden, and Shizuka is silently exuberant at her chance to 'snag' her beloved Yami.  
  
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Firefrost: I LOVE happy endings...! *sniff*  
  
Bakura: Dimwit, it's not over yet!!  
  
Firefrost: I KNOW THAT!! But the CHAPTER is, you demented pick-pocket!  
  
Bakura: 'KING OF THIEVES,' LITTLE MISSY!!!  
  
Firefrost: _ (Makes a South Park-Cartman Sound) Gi-gi-gi-Geeeaaaaa!!!!   
  
Marik: (Looks at Malik) I'm not doing it, dumbass.  
  
Malik: Well, I sure as hell am not doing it!  
  
Marik: Well then, it just won't get done.  
  
Anzu: (Annoyed, places an arm around each of their waists and smiles at them) Please do it. For me?  
  
M & M: (Go stiff at Anzu's touch — not THERE, you hentai!) Thanks for reading! Join us next time! R&R please! 


	2. Lord, What Fools These Im Mortals Be!

Chapter 2: Lord, What Fools These (Im)Mortals Be!  
  
Firefrost: (Looks around) Hey! Is it just you guys? Where IS everybody?! It's almost time to start the next chapter!  
  
Yugi: Well, they were supposed to be right behind us.  
  
Ryou: Yeah! I show up in this scene!  
  
Marik, Bakura, and Yami enter, looking very confused.  
  
Firefrost: What's the matter with YOU?  
  
Marik: (In panic) We can't find Anzu!!!  
  
Bakura: (Grinds his teeth — Ew!) Or Malik!  
  
Yugi: Oh, come on! You don't think she'd—!   
  
Anzu and Malik enter, slightly mussed. Their hair is out of place, Anzu's lipstick is smeared, and they are breathing heavily with flushes on their faces.  
  
Anzu: (Gasp) Sorry... we're late..!  
  
M, B, & Y: WHERE WERE YOU?!!  
  
Malik: Relax! We just... took a jog. Anzu said she... (Glances at Anzu lustfully) needed the exercise.  
  
Bakura: Exercise my ass!! She's already got a body that won't quit! (Grabs her by her arm and pulls her forward) She doesn't need your PERSONAL tutoring!  
  
Marik: (Rushes at Malik and pushes him against the wall) If you f***ing touch her again, I'll KILL you!!! You hear me?!!  
  
Malik: Put me down, psychopath! I didn't do anything to her you haven't done already! I saw you last night on the couch—!"  
  
Firefrost: Enough! (Shakes herself, like she's trying to rid herself of fleas) I don't want to know! Where's Jounouchi and Mai? They're on in this chapter, too.  
  
Shizuka: (Enters) He's in the back of the car with Mai. He'll be here in a few minutes.  
  
All: O.O (Sweatdrop, classic anime fall over)  
  
Anzu: (Who HAD been hugging Marik and Malik sweetly) TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!   
  
Firefrost: My, Anzu, you're hypocritical.  
  
Anzu: Shut up! I only care to know about MY sex life!  
  
Malik: (Smiles slyly) I'd say it's doing REALLY well, Anzu dear.  
  
Anzu: --_-- (Blushes deeply)  
  
Marik: (Shakes fist warningly) Why I oughtta—!  
  
Ryou: (Frightened) Uh!! Here's chapter 2, please read and review!  
  
Firefrost: Hey, that was cute! It rhymed!  
  
All, but Firefrost: O_o; (Sweatdrop)  
  
  
  
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Bakura: (Walks on stage alone, extremely pissed at Mokuba, Otogi, Honda, and Rebecca) I can't believe those idiots left me alone to do this play! How am I supposed to read my lines?!  
  
Firefrost (from backstage): (Shrugs) Improvise?  
  
Bakura: (Ponders quickly) Ummmm... Lord, what fools these mortals be—!  
  
Marik (from backstage): (Whispers) Hey, that should be MY line! I'M the one who hates mortals!  
  
Anzu: (Whispers back) You aren't playing Bottom.   
  
Marik: ...  
  
Bakura: See here! Behold, my friends have abandoned me! This day, we were to have rehearsal of the tragic tale of Mokuba and Rebecca. That which we are to perform four days hence at our Duke's fair wedding! Yet none of my fellows attend?! Must I play all roles within?! Be the damsel, the spellbound lover, and the wall together? As well as be stage hands?! I pray you, Lord, how? (Considers) I shall try, for my Duke and Duchess. Rehearse I came for, and rehearse I shall have, be it accompanied or solo!  
  
The lights fade. Shuffling ensues in the theatre's darkness. The next scene lights up on stage: a forest.  
  
Ryou: (Enters and starts dancing about) Tri-ping hi-ther, tri-ping thi-ther! Round and rou-ound, ne-ver to wi-ther! We must dance, and we must si-i-i-i-ing! All a-bout our fair-y ring!  
  
Bakura: (Walks out and grabs Ryou by the ear) Wrong play, you moronic hikari! That's Gilbert and Sullivan's 'Iolanthe!' We're doing Shakespeare, remember?!  
  
Ryou: (Being dragged offstage) Oh... right. Oops.  
  
Firefrost (backstage): (Slaps her hand over her eyes) Shoot me now!  
  
Marik reaches for something.  
  
Shizuka: She was being sarcastic, Marik.  
  
Marik: (Breaks into a spasm fit of anger, waving his arms about) That's it! Just rain on my parade, Katsuya!  
  
Mai and Jounouchi enter. She is gowned in shimmering fabric that drapes down to her bare feet. He dresses in a garb of fur that fits as though he were a caveman. She shimmers with an unearthly aura (the lighting). He is dull and kind of ugly.  
  
Mai: You shall not have him. My dear boy deserves the sweetness only the QUEEN of fairies can offer.  
  
Jounouchi: But, fair Mai. I am King. This orphan tot you raise is mortal — not yours! He will be strong one day, and wise. Will you not permit him as my page?   
  
Mai: Nay, my husband. He was my treasure when I found him in the shrubbery and is now my son. He'll not be plagued into your... (She glances at his muscular body under his garb) handsome, sweaty, sexy—!  
  
Firefrost (backstage): _ * STICK TO THE SCRIPT!!!!  
  
Mai: (Snaps her eyes away from Jounouchi's chest)— servitude!  
  
Jounouchi moves downstage and looks at the audience, speaking his hidden thoughts.  
  
Jounouchi: Wicked female! Devil's bed fellow! Serpent of the gentle sex! Be there NOTHING under this sky to abate her fury?! Be there nothing that drowns out the thought of her repented Seto? The grand Duke she loves o' so greatly, yet he loves another mortal woman. Can she never love ME?! Wicked, I say!  
  
Mai: (Approaches and pulls Jounouchi from his thoughts) What devilish ploy slinks through your heat-suffered brain, o' relentless one? Fear you my swift tongue so that you recoil into your own silent reverie?   
  
Jounouchi: (Glares) Nay, sweet, impatient wife! I think of you and your beloved. He who marries ere the end of the week! What say you to that?  
  
Mai: (Stays silent a moment) ... And what of you? Forget not that YOUR dear Isis is the one to marry MY beloved Seto. Feel YOU no pain or jealousy?  
  
Jounouchi: I feel. More so than you can know.  
  
Mai: (turning and spinning on her heel) Then, there is nothing left to say. Ryou?!  
  
Ryou: (Runs out on stage in a pretty dress, similar to Mai's) Aye, fair Queen?  
  
Mai: Accompany me to see my son. Where be he now?  
  
Ryou: Awaiting in the Mother Tree, my Queen. Freshly returned from bathing in the stream not far off, where he did spy fair Iolanthe at the water's edge.  
  
Jounouchi: Ryou, this is 'A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM,' not 'Iolanthe'!!!   
  
Ryou: (Scratches his head) Oh, that's right. I forgot.  
  
Firefrost (backstage): (tugs hard on her hair) Gi-gi-gi-Geeeaaaa!!!  
  
Mai pulls Ryou along as she goes offstage.  
  
Jounouchi: (Alone to his thoughts again) I see my Queen has retained her youthful flare, (glances at Mai, who's standing offstage) though FAR from young is she.  
  
Mai: _** (Shrieks as Bakura and Marik restrain her) I'LL KILL 'IM!!! I'LL KILL 'IM!!!  
  
Jounouchi: Now, fizzle and toil, my tired brain! A plan is much needed! (Waits a minute) Hark! A scheme of brilliance! Yugi!! Come hither, my servant!  
  
Yugi enters with a garb like Jounouchi's.  
  
Yugi: You call, my King?  
  
Jounouchi: Aye. My dear Mai, once again, refused me my page! Yet, whence she was gone, I thought, and planned. Listen carefully! (Pulls Yugi closer) Not far from here, amid the field of popplers, Cupid's Flower blossoms joyously. Any who's eyelids are dabbed with its dew shall drown in love for the first being they see when they wake! Bring me this flower, Yugi. And with it, I shall anoint fair Mai. Yet, when she wakes from her night's slumber, I shall see her love befalls the most vile creature she can imagine! Thus, her hand will be forced, and she will give me the orphan child in exchange for her heart's freedom!  
  
Yugi: And where be you, Majesty, as I do perform your task?  
  
Jounouchi: Here. I shall watch Mai to ensure the plan's success. Go now and fetch me the flower!  
  
Yugi: I go! (Exits, skipping merrily)  
  
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Anzu: ~_~ Awww! A love flower! How romantic!  
  
Yami: You would fancy a flower, Anzu? Then, I shall fetch you one!  
  
Yugi: Oh, brother!  
  
Jounouchi: Yeah, Yugi?  
  
Yugi: (Slaps his hand over his eyes and shakes his head)  
  
Bakura: Pharaoh, my Anzu will NOT receive a flower from YOU!  
  
M & M (mmm... candy!): YOUR Anzu?!!  
  
Marik, Malik, Yami, and Bakura break into another brawl.  
  
Firefrost: I can't take much more of this!  
  
Anzu: (Smirks) Don't worry, I'll handle it! (Clears her throat and put her hands on her hips) Oh man! And here I thought we could have a fivesome! But, I don't do that post-fist-fight look.  
  
The four boys stop in mid-punch, kick, or whatever.  
  
Malik: (Jaw agape) Fivesome? Anzu, I didn't know you...!  
  
Anzu: (Picks up her coat and starts walking outside) Well, I guess you'll never know now, will you?  
  
M, M, B, & Y: Anzu, wait up!! (Chase after her)  
  
Yugi: That was... scary.  
  
Firefrost: Nah, just hormone-stimulating. Teenagers live such hard lives!  
  
Mai: (Glares at Jounouchi) Thanks for reading, but I'M NOT OLD!!! See you all next time... and see you in HELL, Jounouchi! Later! (Rushes out)  
  
Jounouchi: Hey! (Runs after her)  
  
Yugi: Uh... Reviews please? 


	3. Love Me Do NOT!

Chapter 3: Love Me Do NOT!!  
  
M, M, B, & Y: (Enter) ...  
  
Firefrost: (Setting up some props) Hey, guys! What's up?  
  
M, M, B & Y: ...  
  
Firefrost: Hello in there??? Anyone home?!  
  
Bakura: (Sniffles)  
  
Firefrost: _ Well, if you're gonna be like THAT, then I don't wanna know!  
  
Yami: She was joking... *sob*  
  
Firefrost: Who was? And for what?  
  
Malik: (Bursts into tears) Anzu didn't do a fivesome with us!!!  
  
Firefrost: Oh... I see. (Shrugs) Well, what did you EXPECT?! A girl can only handle one — MAYBE two — guys at a time, you know!  
  
Marik: And I bet you know ALL about a woman's limits, don't you, you little wh—!  
  
Firefrost: (Glares) Watch it!!  
  
Marik: ...  
  
Anzu: (Enters quietly with Yugi) Hi guys...  
  
Yami: Anzu, you lied to us...  
  
Anzu: Huh? (Grows a little angry) I did NOT! You misunderstood! I said FIVESOME, not tetra-penetration! One at a time, for God's sake!  
  
M, M, B, & Y: (Eyes grow wide with realization) Oh.  
  
Anzu: (Sighs) But, if you PROMISE to not try that again... maybe we'll go another time, hm? (Plays with Malik and Marik's hair)  
  
M, M, B, & Y: O_O (Stand straight up like boards and sound VERY eager) Okay!  
  
Firefrost: (Shivers with disgust) Eeeeehhhh!!!! Are Jounouchi, Mai, and Shizuka here?  
  
Mai: (Steps off stage) We've BEEN here for twenty minutes!!  
  
Firefrost: (Pouts and crosses her arms) Fine! Then, let's start the chapter already!  
  
Anzu: (Tracing along Malik's chest with her forefinger) Firefrost does not own Yu-gi-oh or Midsummer Night's Dream...  
  
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Night falls on the forest, and Jounouchi keeps silent watch over Mai from a treetop. Before long, he stirs at a noise from the ground below. Behold, he sees a man and woman moving swiftly through the trees and underbrush.  
  
Shizuka: (Chasing after Yami) O', wait, my beloved! I pray you pause your recoil!  
  
Yami: Nay, she-snake! Begone from my sight, so my eyes may see once more! See the beauty of this place, and may find my fair Anzu by its radiance! Away!  
  
Shizuka: (Trips over an unearthed root) Why do you not stop, dearest Yami? Why do you not permit to help me up from nature's floor? See you not I am in pain?  
  
Yami: And may you STAY in pain, as long as it keeps you far from me!!  
  
Shizuka: (Pushes up and continues on after him) I beg, speak not this wickedness! I know you do love so fair Anzu, but will you take not me instead? I am not less the woman as she! Be I not soft, and beautiful, and charming as she?  
  
Yami: And possessive and clingy as she is NOT!! Again I say, away! Leave me to my search, vile creature!  
  
Jounouchi watches the two exit the stage. He looks around.  
  
Jounouchi: Strange not this? Poor mortal woman doth love a man enthralled by another maid? It shall not be so for long, say I.  
  
Yugi: (Lowered down by wires to the treetop. He just 'flew' from the sky. One wire snags on his neck) Can't... breathe... Help...  
  
Firefrost: (Glares at Marik, who is helping Bakura lower Yugi down) Marik!!! I said 'DON'T wrap the wires around him!!!  
  
Marik: ^__^ (Points) Who me? I would NEVER, hehehe!  
  
Jounouchi: (Finishes untangling the wire from Yugi's neck) Hey, Yug, you okay?  
  
Yugi: (In a rough voice) Yeah... You're line.  
  
Jounouchi: Oh, yeah, right! (Clears his throat) Have you the flower?  
  
Yugi: (Holds up a red flower) *cough* Aye... My king...  
  
Jounouchi: Delightful! (Takes it and pulls off three petals, handing them to Yugi) Take these. Another service have I for you. I go now to treat my dear wife. Go YOU now to find in this forest a man and a woman. When come they sleep, drop down to them and anoint the man, Yami; he be loved by the woman, but himself loves one by name of Anzu. Fix this lovelorn dilemma, I command. Make she the first he sees when he wakes, and the flower's spell be fulfilled!  
  
Yugi: As you wish, Lord.  
  
Yugi disappears (lifted back up by Marik and Bakura. Yugi glares at Marik and the Egyptian smirks.  
  
Jounouchi looks around and spies Mai lying on a giant flower on a low branch of the Mother Tree, 'asleep'. He climbs over and holds the flower carefully.  
  
Jounouchi: (Whispers) So, now, fairest Mai... what will you do? Here I have you, alone and vulnerable... (His eyes drift down to her chest) ... so beautiful...!  
  
Mai: (Opens one eye and whispers) The script, Jounouchi! Script now, sex later!  
  
Jounouchi: (Shakes his head to clear it of lustful thoughts) And now, I douse your lids with the love juice! (dabs the flower on her eyelids, and then climbs back to his original watch post) May you wake to a most UNPLEASANT love surprise, my mate.  
  
Lights fade, more shuffling is heard. The lights go up on Anzu and Marik trotting to centre stage and stopping.  
  
Anzu: My love, the hour grows late! May we not rest? Just for a short while?  
  
Marik: Oh, for Ra's sake, woman! We just ran across the stage — that's only about ten meters!  
  
Anzu: (Sobs) It's in the script, Marik...!   
  
Marik: (Embraces her tightly and nuzzles her) Forgive me, my sweet Anzu! I'm just on a post-authoress-chiding fit.  
  
Anzu: (Raises an eyebrow, her tears gone) Meaning what?  
  
Marik: (Shakes his head and nods towards side stage) Aw, old FF over there gave me a mouthful for that wire thing. It made me irritable.  
  
Anzu: (Laughs) Marik, you're ALWAYS irritable!  
  
Marik: (Gives a mock pout) That's not very nice to say!  
  
Firefrost: (Ripping out some of her hair) SCRIPT! SCRIPT!!   
  
  
  
Anzu: Beloved, I am tired! I must sleep awhile.  
  
Marik: (Lays her down on the ground and lies beside her) Then, sleep, my dearest... and dream of me, as I shall of you. 'I'm lying... on the ground... with Anzu... in my ARMS!!!! YESSS!!!!'  
  
Anzu: (Drifting into 'sleep') I shall...  
  
Yugi (watching from a tree): Must be this the man, Yami. Now, will I act out my deed! (Drops down to he ground with a loud 'THUD') Owie.  
  
It takes Yugi a moment to recover, and he approaches Marik. He kneels in front of him and brings the flower to the Egyptian's closed lids.  
  
Marik opens his eyes slightly and glares.  
  
Marik: (Whispers) Runt, if you make my eyes water from the pollen, you'll be three inches high after I pound you into the ground!  
  
Yami (backstage): Marik! How many times a day do I have to threaten your life?!  
  
Marik: As many times as I threaten Yugi's!! (Closes his eyes again)  
  
Yugi: (Gulps and quickly swipes the flower just above Marik's lids, to avoid the fulfillment of the threat) The deed is done, and I go.  
  
Yugi leaps up onto his feet and trots off stage.  
  
Shizuka: (Enters and looks about) Where did he go? My love and I were rushing, and along we came to a fork, and I heard a noise. I turned back to look, and when I returned my gaze forward, dear Yami was gone! (Spies Marik and Anzu) See, my playmate and hers! Asleep? I shall leave them to their rest, lest they attract my Yami's attention through my presence.  
  
Shizuka begins to slip away, and pauses when nothing happens.  
  
Shizuka: Marik! You're supposed to hear me and wake up!  
  
Marik: (Sits up) What?!! But, then I'd fall in love with YOU!!!  
  
Shizuka: That's the point! It's the story!  
  
Marik: O___O (Chokes for a minute) But-but, I don't WANT to!!!  
  
Firefrost (backstage): Marik, you heard Jounouchi and Yugi talking before! You knew the plan!  
  
Marik: (Tears in his eyes) I THOUGHT THEY WERE JOKING!!!  
  
Firefrost: It was in the script when you first agreed to be in the play!  
  
Marik: I skipped that part!!!  
  
Shizuka: Well, you HAVE to do it! For the play! Now, come on!  
  
Marik: ...  
  
Short silence.  
  
Marik: (Stands up, his voice monotone) Aphrodite, what fair creature be this? Whose auburn hair gleams in both sun and moonlight. Such beauty unsurpassed is mine for claim, and so it shall be. (Approaches Shizuka) Come, my fair beauty.  
  
Shizuka: (Horrified) No! What trick BE this?! Away, you unlawful, torturous, cruel vermin! Back to your love, and quit this game of falsehood! You love Anzu!  
  
Marik: (Monotone) I swear, I do not.  
  
Shizuka: Leave me! (Runs off stage)  
  
Marik: Return, my dear. Or I must chase and catch you. (Goes after her)  
  
Anzu is left alone on the stage as the lights go down...  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Anzu: Marik, you'd never do that... REALLY, right?  
  
Marik: (Squeezes her tightly) Never! No way can that idiotic little Shizuka—!  
  
Jounouchi: (Glares) Watch it, Marik!!  
  
Marik: (Smug look on his face) Down, Dog!  
  
Jounouchi: (Veins popping out of head like crazy!) THAT'S IT!!!!!!  
  
Y & Yugi: (Restrain Jounouchi) Easy, easy!  
  
Anzu: (Giggling and squirming furiously as M, M, & B begin a ravenous game of tickle-Anzu's-ribs) Thanks *giggle* for reading! *giggle* See you *giggle* next time!  
  
Firefrost: (Turning pink at the ticklefest) *sigh*  
  
Marik: (Looking up from tickling Anzu) R&R!  
  
Firefrost: Marik!!!  
  
Marik: (Glares) ... pleeaaasssseeee. Happy now?  
  
Firefrost: (Rolls her eyes) Ecstatic! 


	4. Plays, Fights, Flights, and Asses

Chapter 4: Plays, Fights, Flights, and Asses  
  
Firefrost: (Pokes head into room of fuming fans) Uh, hi...!  
  
Fans: (Pelt Firefrost with random vegetables and fruits)  
  
Firefrost: ;_; (Tears pouring) I'm soooorrrryyyyyy!!!!!  
  
Marik: (Walks out with Malik and B) You're pathetic!  
  
Firefrost: Grr...  
  
Bakura: Serves you right for making them wait so long for the next chapter!  
  
Malik: *tsk tsk* (Waggles his finger at Firefrost) Bow your head in shame.  
  
Firefrost: (Bows her head and whimpers to herself)  
  
Marik: As I said: pathetic.  
  
Anzu: (Pops out of nowhere and giggles, delighting M, M, and B) Next chappie!!! Enjoy, R&R, you know the disclaimer!  
  
Malik: Aw! She did everything so we wouldn't have to! ^_^  
  
Anzu: ^_^ ^_~  
  
M, M, B: (Melt) So cute...! (Huggle Anzu all at once)   
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Bakura steps onto the stage, with fake trees around him. He is in the forest.  
  
Bakura: (Frowns) This isn't me...  
  
Firefrost (backstage): Just do it, albino.  
  
Bakura: (Death glare) You're lucky, FF.  
  
Firefrost: (Raises eyebrow suspiciously) Why?  
  
Bakura: Because I don't believe in hitting girls, (Looks out at fans) especially pretty fan girls! ^_~ Hey, Lauren! (Blows a little flirty kiss)   
  
(A/N: Just for you, Laurel and Lauren! ^_^ )  
  
Firefrost: (Scowls) Anyways!  
  
Bakura: When I'm ready, woman!!! (Clears throat just as Mokuba, Otogi, Honda, and Rebecca enter) WHERE HAVE YOU ASSES BEEN?!!!!  
  
Honda: Relax, Bakura. We're here now.  
  
Bakura: Shut up, mortal! The horrible authoress was going to make me dress up like a girl to do our play by myself if you didn't show up!!  
  
Rebecca: (Jumps to the sanity of Firefrost's rescue) Greetings, dear friend! The moon is rising. Let us commence our work, lest we be late to know our play for our dear Duke Seto's wedding, for we had no practice this last noon after.  
  
Bakura: (Pouts) That's because none of you imbeciles showed up.  
  
Rehearsal for the play of Mokuba and Rebecca commences, and no one can get it right.  
  
Mokuba: See, a crack mars even the strongest of walls. Come, friendly mar, let me find thee, that I might look upon my beloved Rebecca, across your barrier! (Loses focus) I don't get it! What's Mars got to do with a stone wall?!  
  
Otogi: Not Mars, the planet! Mars as in to mar or damage something! A crack in a wall is damage to the wall.  
  
Mokuba: O.o Oh.  
  
Above their heads, in a tree, Yugi sits watching the mortals. Mai, who is in the Mother Tree, remains asleep.  
  
Yugi: (Giggles) Delightful! The one they call Bakura shall match heads with that of the animal he most represents!  
  
  
  
Yugi waves his hand, sparkles fly out, and a terrified scream is heard from below.  
  
Marik (backstage): (Laughing his head off) How did you do that without dropping a mask on him, FF?!?! He's got the head of an ass!!  
  
(A/N: #1: Sorry, Lauren, it's in the play! #2: Ass = a close relation to the donkey; ass x donkey = mule offspring)  
  
Firefrost: Theatre NEVER reveals its disturbing secrets, Marik! Kinda like you. (Smirks)  
  
Marik: You know, I take that as a compliment. I'm evil, remember.  
  
Firefrost: I... Damn.  
  
Bakura: (Watches as Rebecca, Mokuba, Otogi, and Honda run offstage and out of the theatre) Come back, you idiots!!! It's just a trick!!!  
  
Malik (backstage): (Whispers to Anzu) I don't think they read that part of the script.  
  
Mai opens her eyes and looks down at where the commotion is coming from. She holds her breath when she sees Bakura. The love flower's dew takes effect.  
  
Mai: Oh, rapture!! (Gracefully leaps from the tree and lands by a surprised Bakura) Greetings, my beloved!  
  
Bakura: O______O Pardon me, madam, but I do not know you!  
  
Mai: Be not so frightened, my gentle one! With thine long, pretty ears. Thine fuzzy face and strong front teeth! Thou art beautiful in all accounts!   
  
(A/N: Remember, our poor Bakura's got the face of an ass. Long ears, big 'hick' teeth, and hair. Also, Bakura's character doesn't know he's an ass yet)  
  
Bakura: o_O Dear madam, I know not of what you speak! I am no more hair, long-eared, or toothy than any other man. My friends that ran must being trying to worry me of my looks.  
  
Bakura fan girls: YOU'RE SO SEXY AND GOOD-LOOKING, BAKURA!!!!!  
  
Bakura: ~_^ ^_~ Pretty women know pretty men when they see them!!  
  
Fan girls: oooohhhhhh!!!! (pass out)  
  
Marik (backstage): I could do better.  
  
Malik: Me too.  
  
Yami: Me three.  
  
M & M: Shut up, Pharoah!!  
  
Yami: *whimper*  
  
Mai: Come, sweet... um.  
  
Bakura: Bakura.  
  
Mai: Come, sweet Bakura. Join me and my fairies, that we might entreat you to all we can offer!  
  
Jounouchi: (Glares) Don't you be entreated TOO much, Bakura!  
  
Mai giggles and walks with Bakura offstage. Yugi disappears from the tree. The curtain goes down as he runs off to tell his king of the creature that Mai has woken to and fallen in love with. The curtain rises a few moments later to Anzu, still sleeping alone on the ground. Jounouchi and Yugi are sitting (again) in a tree above. The night is growing older.  
  
Anzu: (Sits up and yawns sweetly) ^_^  
  
M, M, B & Y: Awww! ^_^  
  
Anzu: (Snaps to herself and stands in shock) What! Marik? Marik, my dearest, where hast thou gone?! Pray you, can you hear me?! Oh, where are you!  
  
Yami walks on stage.  
  
Anzu: (Gasps) You!!! Snake!! Evil thing beyond compare!!!  
  
Yami: (Walks forward) My fair Anzu, what means this? Be not so fretful. Be jubilant that your loving husband has come for thee!  
  
Anzu: Husband? Never! Thou art a hessian above all else! I scoff at you, and at your 'lovingness!' You do so mean betrayal instead!! Where be my Marik?! How, pray tell, wicked Yami, did you undo my love?!! What hideous weapon was the seed to his destruction?! The sword upon his throat did you claim? Or was it your own brutal hands that wrapped his gentle neck and did squeeze life and breath from him?!! Speak, devil!! Speak!!  
  
Yami: Dear Anzu, I did no such thing! I did here come, with Shizuka in pursuit; and I did too leave her lost. I wandered nigh two hours, looking for my Anzu. And now, I have found thee! Since Shizuka, none have I seen but you.  
  
Jounouchi glares at Yugi.  
  
Jounouchi: (Whispers) Fool! I spoke to dab the juice upon the eyes of the mortal Yami, and here he stands un-charmed!!  
  
Yugi: (Whispers back) My Lord, I swear I did so anoint a mortal man, but not he who stand there! Thou said I would know him by his Athenian clothes. And I did.  
  
Jounouchi: (Gasps and whispers) Then, there be two Athenian men and women about to-night! And thou did charm the wrong man. This Yami must stand now with the maid that the mortal Shizuka spoke and named Anzu. Thus, this other man did see some other creature when he woke from beside Anzu, and did leave her under the love spell!  
  
The two fairies lose focus from the argument below.  
  
Anzu: Leave me be, cruel murderer! I trust you not!! Leave me to my misery, and slip into the shadows and darkness of Hell!! May it scorch your soul to the core!!!  
  
Yami: (Calling as Anzu disappears offstage) I swear, Anzu, I am no murderer!!! (Looks about angrily) What time of month be it with her?! ... not the right one, say I.  
  
Firefrost: I DIDN'T HAVE THAT IN THE SCRIPT!!!   
  
Yami: At least I made it blend in with the script!!  
  
M & M: (Huddled in fetal position with ears covered) We don't want to hear! We don't want to hear!  
  
Anzu & Shizuka: (Walk over to M & M) *giggle* Period.  
  
M & M: AAAAAAHHHHH!!!! Evil thing, evil thing!!  
  
Anzu: It's not as bad as PMS.  
  
Shizuka: I get so cranky then! ^_^  
  
Anzu: Me too! ^_^  
  
M, M, B, Y, Yugi, and Jou: Eeeeewwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!  
  
Anzu, Shizuka, Mai, and Firefrost: Shut up! You have wet dreams more than we have periods and PMS!!  
  
Boys: O__________O They've caught on to us...  
  
Girls: ^_____________^ We win!!  
  
Firefrost: Anyway, let's continue.  
  
Yami: (Looks up at theatre ceiling) It's late. I must rest a short while. (Lays down) Just... a little... nap... (Falls asleep)  
  
Jounouchi: Yugi, you and I shall FIX your mess! Go now and bring to this place the maid Shizuka. Not Anzu! Leave all else to me.  
  
Yugi: Aye, Lord. (Pulled up by strings again, by Bakura and MALIK)  
  
Jounouchi: (climbs down tree and carries love flower to sleeping Yami) Now, mortal, shall you wake to the sight of your Shizuka. No Anzu for Yami, Shizuka's the fairer. May your eyes see none but her with romance and passion. (Dabs Yami's eyes with the petals, and then he vanishes into thin air)  
  
The curtain falls.  
  
Marik: (Jaw agape) Tell me how you DO that!!!!! (A/N: He means how I make stuff happen, like disappearing and the ass's head suddenly appearing)  
  
Firefrost: *giggle* No. ^_^  
  
Marik: (Follows Firefrost and the rest out of the theatre) Come on!  
  
Firefrost: No. ^_^  
  
Marik: I promise not to kill you till after you tell me! ^_^  
  
Firefrost: No. ^_^  
  
Yami: Are they gonna do this all the way home?  
  
Yugi: Yup. ^_^  
  
Yami: They sound like they've got nothing better to do!  
  
Yugi: Yup. ^_^  
  
Yami: Could you stop that already, please?!  
  
Yugi: Yup. ^_^  
  
Yami: Argh!!!  
  
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A thousand pardons for not updating for a while!!! School's been keeping me busy. Thank you all for reviewing and enjoying! ^_^ I'm sorry to see that Rabidmoose doesn't like it, but oh well: can't please everyone.   
  
I'd especially like to thank: Kaz for reviewing at each chapter (very gracious of you to take the time ^_^), Blackbelt (I've read some of you're work and it's wonderful!), Bakura-is-mine, and Yaoi-Rated (your comments made me so full of myself and happy I feared I was gonna burst!)  
  
Also, don't be frightened if I take time updating. THIS STORY WILL BE FINISHED, GUARANTEED!!!! Read my bio to understand, even though I'm being a little hypocritical of it right now, but oh well.  
  
Anyways, gonna go now (got more work to do on other writings). Another chapter should (hopefully) be up no later than two weeks from now.  
  
Your humble authoress, Firefrost. 


	5. Cruel Be Duels and Mud Puddles!

Chapter 5: Cruel Be Duels and Mud Puddles!  
  
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Firefrost: You all hate me, right?  
  
Audience: ...  
  
Firefrost: (Looks at floor) Sorry. Busy job and hard school.  
  
Aud: ... We're not talking to you anymore.  
  
Firefrost: (Wails like a baby) ;______; Well here's another chappie for anyone who still loves me... : (  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The small wood patch was quiet as the cool water of a nearby river dripped into the recess of a ground basin. The leaves were shining in the moonlight, and the spot was marred only by the small pool of mud.  
  
Jounouchi and Yugi watch from a tree above.  
  
Yami's slumber was pervaded feverishly by the echo of trampled leaves, and his eyes opened slowly to behold the two figures just entering the small grass patch where he lay. His eyes met the shapely form of the woman first.  
  
Shizuka: I said AWAY, deceiver! Leave me to my anguish and quit this wicked facade to return to lovely perfection: Anzu! Let my suffering go unhindered by your taunting!  
  
Marik: I CAN'T believe I have to do this!  
  
Firfrost (backstage): Do it, you!  
  
Marik: (Pouts) I shan't, refreshing Shizuka! Nor can I! Came I hear to your side to love you, worship you as a goddess befitting you! Not Anzu holds my beating heart; 'tis yours for the beating — yours to keep my vessel breathing!  
  
Yami: (Stands and approves Shizuka) My eyes do lie! Yet, how can my brain refuse that which lay before their depths! Solice radiance in my presence! Glorious maiden of sun and moon sent to me from the heavens as my gift and charity! Privilege and honour is mine to look upon such loveliness!  
  
Shizuka: (Tears welling and threatening to fall) What devilry be this?! How dare MARIK mock my pain and passion, yet not can I bare it from YOU as well, beloved Yami! Be this a dream? No, a nightmare!  
  
Anzu's voice is heard from offstage, calling out for Marik. Offstage, Malik sticks out his tongue in distaste. Shortly after, Anzu rushed onstage and stops.  
  
Anzu: There you are, Marik! Where have you—?  
  
Shizuka: (Shrieks in horror) I see!!! Now I see through this! Be you, Yami, in scheme with handsome, cruel Marik and beautiful, spiting Anzu!! Be you the ring-leader, FRIEND?!! (Points at Anzu with venom eyes)  
  
Anzu: Shizuka, I know not what you are saying...!  
  
Shizuka: (fiercely thrashing away) Then, brooding old mare, you are as empty in head as you are in heart!  
  
Anzu: (Tears falling) Shizuka, I do not understand your reasoning! Here I stand an outsider to the game you speak of.  
  
Shizuka: Liar! Know you well the game I say! Know you well that you did plan with Marik and fair Yami to embed my soul with pain and torment; to know I cannot have he whom I desire while you, whore-maiden, have your choice of two!  
  
Anzu: (Eyes turn into daggers) I warned you to relent your assault, playmate! I am NO whore! YOU be the whore, who sold her body for nothing to a man she is infatuated with to the degree of pathetic!   
  
Shizuka: Monster! Take back the words you force passed that snaked tongue!  
  
Anzu: I shall NOT! I say what I feel, and I feel nothing but hatred now!  
  
Marik: Dearest Shizuka, why waste your time upon this haggard woman. Her beauty pales in comparison to yours.  
  
Anzu: (Eyes turn fiery) Barbarian! Maenad! Bow-snatcher and eater of spirit flesh! How could you take from me my life and love?! How could you so betray me?   
  
Shizuka: Be YOU the betrayer!  
  
Anzu and Shizuka race for one another and tackled themselves together furiously! They felt a coldness against their skin, and then realized they had plunged into the mud pool. Despite their filthy wetness, they continued their battle.  
  
Yami rushes to try to aid Shizuka from the mud, but his arm is caught by Marik.  
  
Marik: We are not done, refuse of worms! Leave my lady be and her opponent while we finish our duel for lovely Shizuka elsewhere, lest we injure her in our blind fury.  
  
Marik and Yami run offstage.  
  
Anzu: (Wades out of the mud) I hate you more than Darius! More than ANY living thing could hate another!!  
  
(A/N: Darius was the Persian Emperor who waged the first Persian War against Greece; his war slaughtered hundreds of Greek soldiers at the city of Marathon)   
  
Shizuka: (Makes her way out of the pool) And I you for your cruelty! Begone, your face makes me ill!  
  
Anzu: (Glares and walks off stage)  
  
Shizuka leaves the stage.  
  
Jounouchi: Listen, for I shall say this only once. Go now and follow Yami and Marik. Entice them apart from one another until they tire. When at last they sleep, find Anzu and take her to Marik. Dab his eyes with the petals once more, and be sure 'tis the maiden Anzu whom he wakes to!  
  
Yugi: And, where go you, Lord?  
  
Jounouchi: (Held in the air by yet more wires held by Malik and Seto) To tarry with my Queen, and behold how likes she her ass-lover. Do not fail, Yugi! (Disappears in mid-air again)  
  
Marik: Come on, woman! How—?!  
  
Firefrost: Nope. Not telling!   
  
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Firefrost: Hi, guys; I guess you're all pretty angry with me, right? Well, I'm sorry I haven't updated in soooo long: I've just been through a lot. I've had to rethink what I want to do with my life (not to mention mind-block and my other story updates), so please be patient with me and don't throw too much fruit at me!  
  
Marik: I said it before, and I'll say it again: pathetic.  
  
Firefrost: Grrr... (Takes deep, calming breath) I hope to update soon, BTW. I told you all I'd finish this story! ^_^ See you all in the next chapter. R&R pwease! 


	6. All's Well That Ends Well Right?

Chapter 6: All's Well That Ends Well... Right?  
  
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Firefrost: Hiya, guys! I'm back! I decided to update again soon to try and make up for my long absence before.  
  
Anzu: We're so glad you're back, Firefrost!  
  
Firefrost: Aw! You missed me, Anzu?!   
  
Anzu: Not really. The boys were fighting over me too much! You generally keep them in line some.  
  
Firefrost: TT Point taken. (Sobs) I am so unloved...!  
  
Malik: (Walks in with a broken nose) Of course you are!  
  
Bakura enters.  
  
Malik: You stupid bastard!!! Get over here, you broken my fking nose, now let me return the damned favour!!!! (Chases the tomb robber around the stage)  
  
Jounouchi: (Places hands over Shizuka's ears) Da language, man! Da language! Virgin ears are listening!!  
  
Shizuka: Um, Jou... I'm not a virgin.  
  
Jounouchi: (Falls over) WWHHHHHAAAATTTTTTT!?!?!?!  
  
Seto: (Wraps his arm around Shizuka's waist; Isis seethes with jealousy) You heard her, inu!  
  
Jounouchi: XX  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------   
  
Yami runs onto the stage in a wild fury. Trees surround him and he throws his gaze about wildly.  
  
Yami: Where art thou, coward! Cometh from your citadel of shadows and fight with honour! Come forth, I say! A lowly, skulking dog you are to hide from me, Marik!  
  
Jounouchi (Backstage): Hey! I thought I was the dog!  
  
Anzu: You mean you LIKE Kaiba's nickname?!?  
  
Jounouchi: Well, um... NO!! No, of course not!!  
  
All: (Sweatdrop) OO  
  
Yami: Ahem! As I was SAYING!  
  
Marik: Yes, you WERE saying, Pharaoh!  
  
Yami: (Staring in amazement at how Marik magically appeared on stage) Oo?  
  
Marik: MWAHAHAHAHA!!! See, FF, I have your power now!!  
  
Firefrost: Yeah, yeah. So you learned my 'magical-(dis)appear trick,' so what?  
  
Marik: (Pouts) You could at least be a little happy for my triumph!  
  
Firefrost: Fine. (Puts on fake smile and waves arms about) Huzzah!!! Now get to the script.  
  
Marik: (Glares, then looks at Yami) I assure you, Yami, I was not hiding! Bethought I to let you have a start on me, for then the odds would be fair, and I might preserve my already existent honour. 'Tis YOU who hath a lack for morality, spiteful lord!  
  
Yami: We shall see, miserable wretch! (Runs after Marik offstage)  
  
Many shouts and cries of pain are heard backstage before Yami, battered and bloody, limps back on stage.   
  
Yami: (Gasping) Methinks... I shall rest... a while... before I look for... him... again. (Falls over, unconscious)  
  
Anzu (Backstage): Marik!! You know better!!  
  
Marik: (Looks at feet as Anzu scolds him) 'If I wasn't so absolutely in love with her and she wasn't so scary when she's mad, I'd hit her for this.'  
  
Malik: 'Serves you right, you fool!'  
  
Marik: 'Stop listening to my thoughts, Cave-slave Boy: the chicken-scratched wonder!'  
  
Malik: "You mother-fing, son of bch, ct-sucking man-whore!!!!" (Grabs hold of Marik and a brawl begins)  
  
Anzu: sigh I give up.  
  
Seto and Bakura lower Yugi down by his notorious 'Strangle-Me-Yugi' wires.  
  
Yugi: Ah, man. I just KNOW something bad's gonna happen to me! (Looks up to see Bakura let go of his wire) I knew it... (Hits the stage hard) Owie...  
  
Bakura: snicker  
  
Seto: (Slaps him over the head) You idiot. FF will be on you sorry ass for sure (Watches as Firefrost climbs into the overhead trough to box Bakura's ears out)  
  
Yugi: (Rubbing his sore rump as he walks to Yami) Here be the man, Yami. So easy was it to trick him into believing me his mortal foe! However, he I am to leave, as my lord did so command. Now to find Marik and fair Anzu, and work the original spell of him undone! (Looks up at the wires which are supposed to lift him up again) ... I think not. (Trots offstage instead)  
  
The lights go down, and come up. Yami is magically gone from the stage, courtesy of the newly-empowered Marik. This time, it's Marik who rushes on stage.  
  
Marik: Where be the morose prune?! He hath a meeting with death this day, and it would ache mine heart were I to not help him keep it!  
  
Yami: (Standing shakily side-stage) Come fight me, wretched ass! I'll not fly in the face of thee, as nauseating as it may be!  
  
Marik: I'll show you hideous, snatcher of innocence, when my own fingernails shred thine face to pieces! Now, stand your ground that I might grant justice quickly! (Rushes toward Yami)  
  
Yami: Screw you, Ishtar! (Steps aside sluggishly and trips Marik with his outstretched leg, then melds from being Yami to being Yugi)  
  
Jounouchi: (Shocked, looks at Firefrost) How did you--?!?!  
  
Firefrost: (Shrugs her shoulders) Wasn't me.  
  
Yugi: (Holds up the Sennen Puzzle) Merging and unmerging's a good thing!   
  
All: (Sweatdrop)   
  
Yugi: Now, this the be the Marik I seek. (Anzu's voice is heard from offstage, calling for help) There be the mortal angel, lost amid the thick wood, no doubt! Now, (sparkles appear and fall from the ceiling) come, beautiful maiden. Come to your beloved and sleep! All will be well, I swear!  
  
Anzu enters from offstage and crawls along to floor, sleepily.  
  
Anzu: (Rasping lustily) The night grows old, and I fear mine eyes to close... against me. Shut these... windows from the... world awhile. Now, aching body... to bed..! (Groans) I shouldn't have had that island stinger!  
  
Firefrost: Malik!  
  
Malik: (Still holding bottle of stinger, quickly hides it behind his back) The devil made me do it!  
  
Isis: Malik, we don't believe in the devil. Remember Osiris?  
  
Malik: (Nervous grin plasters his face as FF watches him like a cobra ready to strike) Shut up, Isis.  
  
Anzu: (Reaches Marik and topples on top of him; Marik smirks; Malik, Bakura and Yami shriek a war cry) I think... I'll just sleep... here on this... bush tonight.  
  
Marik: 'She thinks I'm a bush?!?'  
  
Anzu closes her eyes and the two sleep, Marik's hand ebbing slowly closer to her chest. Quickly seeing a colossal disaster rising from the steaming Malik and Bakura (Yami would have join them but for his unconsciousness), Yugi rushes on stage and dips down to place the juice of the love flower's petal over his eyes.  
  
Yugi: Now to undo that horror which I hath inflicted before!  
  
Marik: (Growls) Remember what I told you last time, runt!  
  
Yugi: (Gulps)  
  
Yami: (Awakes quickly) MARIK!!!  
  
Marik: (Rolls eyes) Yes, yes, I know! 'Protect little Yugi at all costs' - go sniff a fuel pipe, Pharaoh!  
  
Yami: (Passes out again) Uhghhh...  
  
Yugi: (Sweeps the petal just over Marik's eyes) Now shall he wake to she who hath captured his true heart; that which was born of nature, and not the artifice of Cupid. Now, sweet lovers, sleep until dawn rises, when come for you will you Duke and court. Now I go to reunite in dreams the other pair; sweet Shizuka to her Yami's side as you do now! (Trots offstage, still weary of the wires and the crazed look in Bakura's eyes as he holds them in the trough)  
  
Bakura: (Smirk) Here, little piggie...!  
  
Yugi: NO!! (Rushes away)  
  
Bakura: Blood and damnation!  
  
----------------------------------------------------------  
  
Firefrost: Chapter 6 FINALLY done!!!  
  
All: HUZZAH!!!!! ;;  
  
Anzu: (Lying on M, M, and B's laps, her elbow propped on Y's) I'm sleepy...  
  
M, M, B, & Y: (Grin) Then let us take you to BED, dear Anzu!  
  
Anzu: (Looks at them, then at the girls): This is gettin' scary. (Stands from laps)  
  
M, M, B & Y: Awww!! (Pout and fold arms)  
  
Anzu: (Looks at them) I love you!  
  
M, M, B, & Y: (Excited) Which of us?! Which do you love?!?  
  
Anzu: No comment!   
  
Shizuka: O.O ... Well, see you all next time. And don't forget to R&R, please! 


	7. Author's Note

Hi, everyone! I just wanted to put up this short notice about chapter 7. I'm afraid you're going to have to wait a little longer on that one; I'm going on a trip to Montreal for a week, and have exams soon after. I'm reeaaallly sorry, but I have to focus on my studies right now, ok?  
  
I'll take this notice off when I do post chapter 7, so if you're looking for an update then, don't go by the number of chapters FF.net says it has. 


End file.
